Finally News

Finally I have time to write again.

Life has been busy lately: England, French, school, Christmas...

But now I have time. Sort of.

I'm at my grandparent's right now in Germany, and that is exhausting!

They are both kinda sick, so we're here to help out, not vacation!

I'm glad to be able to help, but at the same time can't help but feel anxious to get back home were life is not filled with trying to please your unpleasable grandparents.

Don't get me wrong! I love them dearly, this is just the tired me speaking.

Anyway, other news!

I am sewing a dress!

I've sewed quilts for the past two years, and have decided to take it all a step up!

I already bought the fabric and its BEAUTIFUL!

I'm trying to go for a vintage, old, ageless, pretty, modern, flattering, stylish look.

I hope it'll work.....

Well, gotta go!

Duty calls!

It hurts...

Society, heck even my own family! Does not understand my NEED to paint and to talk about painting. I need to paint, my grandparents, parents etc. They do not understand. I can not really explain either, except that it hurts me when I do not paint and when I can not talk about it either. It hurts in my heart and my chest tightens uncomfortably.

I am only 16, people expect me to do things that normal 16 year olds do: go out, shop, meet friends.... there is no room for people like me who are the opposite, people who like to have serious talks, who like to read and listen to music and paint. Do not get me wrong, I like to meet friends and be with people, but I can not live on that alone. I need my time alone and I need to dream. I can only do that when I paint, then it feels like my heart is soaring on clouds.

That really is the problem here, people expect people to be a certain way. And when they are not, they are considered outsiders, social setbacks, outcasts. But we are not that, from my perspective, we, the outcasts, are the ones who are truely alive.
I do not just live on people, and parties and happenings. I live on thoughts, and books and art and contemplating God s world, family and Jesus. And I am HAPPY. I see the world through eyes that are wide open and see so much beauty because God gave me Art.
And is it wrong for me to be happy? Is it wrong for me to love life the way I live it? Should I change my happy life, my joyful life just because some people think I am not normal enough?
No, I do not think I should. After all, normal, just as beauty, is in the eye of the beholder.
And I DO have friends and a life. And it is MY life, and I will live it the way Jesus wants me to, NOT the way "people" do.

Past, Present and Future. Why?

People live either in the Past or in the Future, but rarely in the Present. People are either pining away for something long past, or living for something that hasn't happened yet. Few ever live in the here and now. Why? I don't know really.

I find myself living in the future, always looking for something that hasn't happened yet, and being sad it hasn't happened yet. There are a few times though when I have lived in the present and those times are my best memories. Living in the present, you are able to take in your surrounding more, you are able to enjoy the bird's song more the wind in the trees and the sun on your face. Life is richer when you are able to put things past and things to come behind you and live in and for the things right now.

I pray God will help me to live like that and to trust him about the things to come and I know my life will all the richer for it.

Sweet 16

Tomorrow is my birthday, birthday, birthday, tomorrow is my birthday, birirthday!

YAY!

A WHOLE lot has happened

O.K. weeeell:
We came back from our four week trip to southern France, on Monday. Those were the four most exhausting weeks ever. We went to language school there, and learned a lot, I can't speak French yet, but I am starting to understand. Anyway, the weather was unbearably hot. All in all, I am SO glad to be back home. I've missed the rain, and clouds of Northern France, just sun, sun and sun can be SO boring!
Oh yeah, and my broken iPod? I don't have to worry about that anymore. Its still broken, I think, but I no longer have it. It was stolen. Yeah, stolen. When we were driving from southern France to our Friends house 4 hours away, we stopped in a small town for lunch. We parked our car in a parking spot on a main street and locked it. An hour later when we came back, everything was gone. All our clothes, all our souvenirs, all our computers, all of my new bought books, and all of my newly painted paintings and all of my (expensive) paintbrushes and paints. Those hurt the most. Clothes, computers, camars can all be replaced, but its impossible to replace my paintings. Oh well! We arrived at our friends house, and she was a blessing, she pampered us for two days, and introduced us to her friends who pampered us to. It was like therapy, because even though, yeah you can replace a lot of stuff, it still hurts, and the shock is huge. You feel violated and exposed. Anyway, we came back home, and its helped to see that we still have our beds and closets and the cloths we didn't take on vacation. God has also showed us how much people care for us, through, churches at home in the states, praying, Gramby and Tica making a care package, and so on. But I AM glad to be home, and I DO NOT want to go on vacation anytime soon! : )

My IPod broke!!!

Why, why, why!!!!
Right now when I need it the most! Aggh! It's just frozen and I've tried to restart it and everything, but it won't work!

I'm trying to sync it to a new computer, but that means all of my precious, new, bought songs will be gone!

Off to the South and the difficulty of growing up

I've just noticed, that lately I have just been writing about the countries I am going to. But we have been traveling so much these past weeks, there really isn't anything else to tell!
Anyway, I AM off again, this time to language school for four weeks!!! I'm exited, the only reason I DON'T want to go, is because I have to leave my little, cutest, baby, darling, rabbit here... :'(
But it will be cool down there. We are going on the riviera, which is very, very special, so my dad tells me. I am already looking forward to coming home though. 'Cause then I will turn 16, yay!! In truth I already feel like 16.

As much as I like being a teen, I am noticing more and more how difficult it is. Not because I am rebelling or "hate my parents", or anything. But because I am in an in between world. I am not a child, and not a grownup. My grandparents, aunts and uncles or other people who don't see me very often, all treat me as a child. And that feels wrong.
My parents for example, treat me more as an adult than a child, and even though I enjoy that much more, and feel more adult than child, sometimes the responsibility of it overwhelms me.
Anyway, I better go and fix breakfast so we can get going! We have a lot of packing to do for tomorrow!!

Eyeliner contest

This actually is real eyeliner.

The End...or, the Beginning???

Finally! We are finished moving!!!! But now, we are only starting to unpack.... bummer. Its still not over yet. Weeeeeelll, in one week we are going to go to southern France for four weeks!!! I don't want to leave my little rabbit Spunky alone again!!! I still haven't found anyone to take care of her for the four weeks....
There's good news to though, we got a new refrigerator and washing machine! That is such a relief!

Germany.

O.K, so we were at the vet and she said that Spunky doesn't have anything serious. I was so relieved! I say WAS for a reason. We are now in Germany, including Spunky and her nails are getting WAY better, except for one spot, we think she must have a tumor. I am so worried, I don't want her to die!
Anyway, we have been in Germany for the past few days. It has been nice, I still can not fathom that I will NOT be going home to our house in Austria when the week is up, I will be going to France. A place, so different and strange. Anyway, this week I have been trying to catch up on all the sleep that I missed while packing. I also have been doing a lot of shopping. I set myself a limit of money to spend, and I have almost reached it (after only 3 days) : )
Today I got one of my ears pierce. So, now I have two earrings in one ear, and one in the other. It looks really cute, even though it doesn't sound like it!
Papa is still in London for his seminar, but he will come back in time for my grandparents 50th wedding anniversary this weekend. 50 years of marriage. That's special, especially now a days.
I am looking forward to the party, all my cousins will come, who I haven't seen in 2 years. I really don't know them well, we've seen each other like 5 times in 6 years.
Well, I think that's all the newest news, so bye bye.

My darlin' darlin' rabbit

My cutest little darling is sick. : (
Today I discovered an inflamed toe on her right front paw. I'm devastated. Tomorrow we leave for Germany, and of all times to get sick, now is when Spunky chooses to. We are going to the vet today, and I hope that it's nothing serious. I don't want Spunky to hurt, or to die. I need her. Yes, I know that sounds silly, but I really need her. She's been such a comfort to me during the move.

I am so thankful that God gave her to me 5 years ago. I don't know what I'd do without her. Even though she's only a rabbit, she has been my best friend, I have had to take care of her and she has kept me from drowning in self pity about this move.
I pray that God will heal her soon, so that she will be able to comfort me for many more years.
I love her sooooooooooooooo much!!!!!!!!

It's really happening

The movers are here, its really happening, I am moving. I am leaving Austria, my home for 13 years, forever. Oh, I know we will come back to visit, but it will never be the same. I will never be home here again. It feels weird, and I still don't really understand why all this is happening. My emotions are in a turmoil, and one minute I'm looking forward to France, the next I am mad at whatever is taking me away from home. As much as I have always wished Austria weren't my home, and I could live in America, I realize how much Austria IS home to me now.

Its raining outside, the feeling of "deja vu" is huge, almost 5 years ago, when we last moved, it was raining also. The heavens pouring out their waters, mirror my own mood. Thoughtful. Remembering. Regretting? Yes, I suppose I am regretting, regretting that I did not realize sooner that Austria truly has become my home. For so long I have wished to leave, now that we are leaving I want to stay. But what do they always say? The grass is greener on the other side. How true!

HOUSE!

Packing, packing, packing...
But...the good news is that my dad found a house for us!!!!!!!!
Now we at least have somewhere to pack for. Its a real pretty house and really really big. For the first time in our life all of us kids can have one room. I think the house is like a 158 square meters.
Even though I'd still like to stay in Austria, it makes moving so much easier now, that we have a house.
We need to be out of here in 1 week. That's sort of a problem, 'cause we can only move into our new house as of July 1st. But, we are going to put our stuff in some container for a few weeks, while we go to our grandparents in Germany, to celebrate their 50th anniversary. Then, after that, we'll go to France. (That'll be something like July 7th)
Then we have two weeks to unpack, until we go away again for four weeks to a French language school. (Which I really don't want to go to, because that means I will have to leave my rabbit again, and this time not with our friends, but with complete french strangers!)

France

I have so many pictures, I'll upload them slowly. Here is the first batch of 'em:

I survived

I survived the bike ride!

Germany!

Finally! One step closer to home. We're in Germany now, visiting our aunt and uncle for a day. We're going to go to the zoo in just a minute...on our bikes. Yeah...its been ages since I've ridden a bike, but today will chance that I suppose. I am looking forward to the zoo, but I'm not sure if I'm looking forward to the 4 miles yet...
But, my mood can't be daunted! (Is that a word?!)
I am in a German speaking country! I am closer to home than I have been in 3 weeks!!!
I feel more free than I have in a long time, I am more at peace now, than in that spider infested house in France. I am looking forward to the day when we are finally in France and no more inbetween, We aren't really in Austria anymore, but we aren't really in France yet either.

Man, my blog must be getting really boring, basically I'm just talking about the same stuff, France, home, Austria, France, home, and Austria. But, those are the things that are weighing most heavily on my mind right now. Well, I'm off to find a bike...

Hoooooooommmmmeeeee

I'm going home, I'm leaving France, I'm going home, I'll be home for four weeks, I'm going home, after four weeks I won't know what will happen, but I don't care, I'm going home for now!

Now, imagine me doing that, while dancing a victory dance! : )

Still in France, how time drags....

As the title says, still in France. I wish we were home so much. I miss having my own room, own desk, my own space to breath and my own little, cute, darling rabbit. I miss her the most. I might have to give her up if we end up moving somewhere where it doesn't work to keep her. I hope not. She is only a rabbit, but she has been such a comfort. It is so good to have another living being you can tell all your troubles. Especially in the last year, with so much going on in my life, public school again and MOVING TO A COUNTRY WERE I DON'T WANT TO MOVE TO AND DON'T SPEAK THE LANGUAGE!!!

I am sitting here, writing on my blog staring at 5 huge spiderwebs. You might think,"How charming, you'd better go clean those up!" I would have thought that 2 weeks ago too. Except that 5 spiderwebs is not unusual in this old house. I have killed more than 15 spider in the days we've been here. 6 alone were in my room. It is really terrifying. Spiders have somehow taken on the role of embodying everything I'm afraid of. Moving, French, change, losing my rabbit, giving up a secure home. I am the kind of person that NEEDS home. I love going to America, but even there, I get homesick for my own bed and familiar surroundings after two months.

I get so mad at people sometimes. Mama just got a forwarded e-mail from our realtor the guy who wants to buy our house wrote it to him. That person makes me so mad, I feel like everybody is against us. I am so glad our realtor is such a nice guy. At least we have ONE person who is fighting for our interests not just his own. Anyway, the man that said he would buy our house signed a pre-sort of contract for a settled price, but now all of a sudden, out of knowwhere these problems appear. We share a big garage with our neighbor and all of a sudden this guy doesn't want that. Apparently its WRONG, and we have to fix it. And there are all these different little things that we are supposed to fix BEFORE he buys it. So, in the end he ends up paying far less for the whole thing because we loose a lot of money. And its not like money grows on trees, especially not for us! It makes me so mad, our realtor also found out that apparently we gossiped about none stop in our village, they even think we are mormens and we are not! It feels so awful when people spread rumors about you, rumors that aren't even close to the truth. I feel hurt and betrayed and at the momen I am seriously starting to believe Europeans in general are all mean, egotistic, greedy and stuck up people. Even though I am half european myself. Even here in France we are experiencing difficulties trying to find a house to rent. The french wont give us the time of day, just because our french is not very good and we are not from here. I'd like to see them come to the States, then lets see what they will think about foreigners!

The more I am writing the more I am getting mad, my fingers are flying over the keyboard right now. I am so mad, I am just so glad I have my pencils and paintbrushes. I don't know what I would do if God hadn't given me those.
I just wish the world weren't so unfair!!!!!

ENGLAND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This past weekend we were in London for my brothers birthday, it was so cool, but instead of writing everything twice, I will let you guys read my field trip report:

Field Trip Report
Written by, Tessa Sydnor
5/10/09


England

On May eighth we drove to London from Calais, France, it was raining that day, and my mood was similar. I was looking forward to London, but I was not looking forward to a morning in the car.
Once we arrived at our destination, I stepped out of the car and was blown away. It was still drizzling, but everything was beautiful. From the first morning England fascinated me, there was an air about the land, you could feel the ancient history that had formed this land into what it is today.

That same day we went into the inner city of London to take a bus tour. That was so much fun, it was wonderful to see all the places I had read about in my books. It always amazed me how many books are set in London, but now I understand. There are so many faces to London, we drove through areas that looked prestigious and old, we drove by modern houses made of glass, or areas filled with stores for Goths and Hippies.

The thing that left the deepest impression on me was that everybody spoke English. I never thought it would be that wonderful to hear it and see it all around me. Up until that moment I hadn’t realized just HOW much I had missed it.

When I think of Ireland, France, Austria, even Germany and Hungry, it is their landscape that most impresses me. But, when I think of England, I do not think of the green rolling hills, or the soft rain falling upon the fields, I think of the people and their history.

Facing this upcoming move, to who knows where, I was struck with conflicting thoughts in London. I would love to move there, speak English, live English. But then there are these other thoughts, that tell me it is wrong to want that, I am an MK, and the fate of MKs is to live where you speak a different language, and where it’s not necessarily comfortable to live. Right?
All I can say is that the trip to England has reaffirmed my wish to study and live in the States, and for once have a home for longer that 5 years.

And it didn’t hurt that they had Ben and Jerry’s icecream in London!



400 words

Bonjure

Currently residing in France!
We're here for a three week vacation, scouting out the area to see
where we can move to. Things are really starting to roll...
we're in the middle of selling our house, and all of this
really kind of scares me.

There are so many thoughts going around in my head,
I want to move, I don't want to move, when can we move,
we are never going to move..............
I wish my head would just shut up and take one day as it comes.

Moving is so exhausting, I don't remember the big move from the states
to Austria, but boy, do will I ever remember this move!
I have promised myself, when I grow up, I will buy a house (probably in the states)
live there 50 years, and die!

Well, gotta go, my dad wants to get on the computer...(man, I really need my own)

The paintings I promised

That's all for now!

New news!!!

Hi, 

soooooooooooo...I finished my practical week in a crafts-store, it was really fun working there, talking to customers, etc. At the end of the week the owner gave me a 10o Euro certificate thing (what ever you call it). I really see that as God's provision for me, because with that money I was able to buy real expensive, and thus, good quality paint brushes and watercolors. I could have never afforded them by myself, but with the certificate (or what ever you call it) I was able to buy them. 

Last week my cousin-twice-removed visited us. It was really fun talking to her, and it just made me realize what a huge family I have on both sides, my mom and my dad. We're going to go to Germany for Easter and I'm really looking forward to that. It will be nice to see my Granddad again, since he is not doing so well right now.

Our move to France is coming closer and closer. It's kinda scary. We haven't sold our house yet, but in May we're going to go to France for three weeks to check out the area. I think what I'm looking forward to most, is living so close to England. And that means really close to Ireland too!!! I've always wanted to go to Ireland. It just fascinates me. There is so much culture, history and art there. I love it! 

One more good thing about moving to France soon, it that mom is going to take all of us out of school the 1st of May. That means back to homeschooling!!!! I am looking forward to it so much. You can't imagine how much I missed it. What I missed most is being able to say what I want, to ask what I want, without being looked at weird, like,"Why are you asking that, that's silly!" And I also miss reading so many books, I miss being challenged in my way of thinking. 'Cause I am definitely not being challenged in any way, in public school. Well, that's enough negative talk for today. 

Right now I have to stop writing because I have to cook brunch now, we're going to have french toast, biscuits, and pancakes!!! yum....

Back from SHARE and off to France

Hey, so we're back from the SHARE conference in Hungary last week. It was so cool, we've gone to the conference every year for the past 6, and it is so cool to see all the people again from the last years. I like it especially, 'cause its a conference for 3rd culture kids, (nice word to describe us missionary kids). It felt so good to talk to people my age who speak English, are Christians, and MKs too. I came home and I felt so refreshed. It helped me refresh my relationship with God to, because lately its been really hard to keep reading my bible and everything, because of school. 

Well, it looks like we're going to go to France real soon. We want to takea few weeks off in April to visit the area where we want to move to. I don't know, on the one hand I'm exited about moving, sort of. On the other hand, I don't want to go to France, because it will finalize things we're really moving. I've lived in Austria almost all my life and now I'm moving again.

 I know compared to others, I haven't moved a lot, but it feels a lot to me. Maybe, because when we move, we always move so far away. First from America to Austria, then from one side of Austria to the other. Then from on side of our state Tirol to the other, and now to France. (We've had a couple smaller moves in there too). O well. 

Next week I am going to work in a craft store for a week. Its for school, extra credit or something. I won't get paid, but the owner said if I work real hard, he might through those watercolors in there I've been wanting for such a long time.

Well, that's all new news I can come up with. I'll be posting some pics of SHARE and some of my paintings soon! 

Semester break!!!!

Finally!!!!!!

This is the first day of a one week semester break. It's only been a month since Christmas, but it feels like ages since I've had a moment of peace. 

Well, we got our report cards, I don't want to brag...but I'm head of my class. Which isn't exactly hard, considering that there were 23 Fs in our class! O, well.

This week will be packed with fun. Last week Siggi and Anne (my Uncle&Aunt) were here, next week Mona (a cousin twice removed, I think) will come, and Ma is panning on taking us to the movie's. We're going to watch Bolt in 3D!!! 

But mostly, I think I'm just looking forward to resting and painting. That'll be so fun!!!!

After next week we have one week of school, and then we're going to Budapest for our annual Share Conference. I'm really looking forward to it. A week full of christian fellowship with other kids in my situation. It'll be so cool!!

Well, that's all for now! See ya!!

So, this is my field trip report about the museum. Hope it turned out. Ever since I've been going to German public school my English has gotten so bad!!

Here it is:

Field Trip January 17^th-18^th  2009

Written by, Tessa Sydnor

1/22/09

 

                           Kunsthistorisches Museum Wien

 

         Saturday the 17^th of January I woke up early in the morning, for my mom to drive me to the train station. I was exited. This was my first train trip alone and I was to meet my dad in Vienna, where both of us would go to the Art history museum. The train ride past uneventful, and my dad and I made it to the museum. I had been to one other Art Museum in Munich. But this one was far grander, there were paintings by Dürer, Rubens, Titian, Van Eyck, Rafael, and so many more famous artists.

        

While I walked through the beautiful rooms, filled with exquisite paintings I was overwhelmed by the shear beauty of it all. Every thing I look for in art was in those numerous paintings. I saw beauty and meaning. And faith also, it was almost as if the artists did not paint religion for art, but art for religion. Ninety percent of all the paintings in the museum where depictions of biblical events. I am sure not all artists in the renaissance time where Christians, yet Christianity was deep rooted in that time, and event non believers had a fair knowledge of the bible.

 

 I was struck how much art has changed. Art has become selfish and vain, today it is all about showing yourself. I cannot deny that there are still artists who do not think that way, but the majority of the world believes art is a means of making yourself immortal.

 

When I walked through the rooms full of painted beauty I did not feel like the Old Masters where trying to prove themselves.  I felt like they where just painting what was there, they were creating beauty, reflecting off of their own soul, but also off of their faith.

 

All in all, I learnt a lot that day in Vienna. As I sit here, typing these words I remember again what it has taught me: To paint for the joy of painting.  Not for the glory, honor or money. That applies to all things, not just art: If you love athletics, do sports, not for the glory of yourself, but for the joy of it. That way you will not be glorifying yourself, but ultimately God. For it is He who gives you your talent and it is He who gives you the joy.

Snow, snow, snow

When I walked to school this morning the streets were clear, it was actually kinda warm too. 

While I was in school it suddenly started to snow really hard. I couldn't believe my eyes, the snow flakes had at least a 1 inch diameter. Anyway, by the time I got out of school the world was covered in white. It was beautiful, but so cold and wet. I have a 20 minute walk home, so by the time I was home I was soaked!! I can't wait for Summer!! 

Religion in Art

This last weekend my dad and I went to the art history museum in Vienna. It was really cool. There were a bunch of pictures from Rubens, Dürer, Titian and many more. And what struck me, as we were walking through the galleries, was how dominant religion was in all the paintings. 

So many beautiful depictions of biblical events, it was breathtaking. But anyway, I'm sure not all artists were Christians then. But religion was so deep rooted in that time (around the 1500 & 1600) even if you weren't a Believer, you knew stories from the bible and you painted them. It was almost as if they did not paint religion because of art, but they painted art because of religion.

I think that is sad that that has been lost, I think that is sad that that has changed. In those days it was as if art existed because of religion.  Now, it is as if art exists to ruin Christianity. 

  Did that make a little sense? Of course it is debatable. Anything about art is. I mean what even defines art ?!

Da Vinci Mode

Well, I'm sorta new to this, but I think I'll start off by explaining the name for my blog:

I love art, and lately I have been studying the great Masters of Art (you know, Michelangelo, Rubens, da Vinci, Dürer etc.) and my favorite Artist is Leonardo da Vinci. I'll explain why in a later post. But I thought I'd call this blog Da Vinci Mode, because I'm really into the old renaissance art, so, you could say," I'm in the Da Vinci Mode"

Get it?  : )