The movers are here, its really happening, I am moving. I am leaving Austria, my home for 13 years, forever. Oh, I know we will come back to visit, but it will never be the same. I will never be home here again. It feels weird, and I still don't really understand why all this is happening. My emotions are in a turmoil, and one minute I'm looking forward to France, the next I am mad at whatever is taking me away from home. As much as I have always wished Austria weren't my home, and I could live in America, I realize how much Austria IS home to me now.
Its raining outside, the feeling of "deja vu" is huge, almost 5 years ago, when we last moved, it was raining also. The heavens pouring out their waters, mirror my own mood. Thoughtful. Remembering. Regretting? Yes, I suppose I am regretting, regretting that I did not realize sooner that Austria truly has become my home. For so long I have wished to leave, now that we are leaving I want to stay. But what do they always say? The grass is greener on the other side. How true!
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